Wibiya Widget

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

During School and After School… A letter to the people who used to know me…


During the time that I was still at school, I attended 2 primary schools and 4 high schools;

Mtubatuba Primary in Kwazulu Natal
Laerskool Phalaborwa Noord in the Northern Province, or rather Limpopo
Hoerskool Benvorster in Tzaneen
Bryanston High in Johannesburg
Hoerskool Frans Dutoit in Phalaborwa
And then finally matriculated from Hoerskool Montana in Pretoria

My school years were not pleasant years, quite honestly I hated school and never look back.
This is sad,  because as a youngster these are the years you should be enjoying, taking every moment in and just enjoying the freedom of having no responsibilities and almost having no care in the world.

If I think back to some of the ‘kids’ I went to school with, most of them probably would not remember me, to them I was not there…
I did not excel at sports, although I tried everything. I did not excel at academics, but I was a hard worker and at times it felt as if I were out of place, even though I was a friendly guy.

I was skinny, very white, out of proportion and was certainly not the most attractive guy at school. I was shy, would always follow the rules and always had my homework done.

At two of the schools I attended I was teased for being gay, I must have shown some signs of being gay, dunno what these are but maybe it was because I felt more comfortable talking to girls. The teasing experiences certainly stuck in my head and have certainly contributed to who I am today.

The teasing made me strive for better, I wanted to look better, I wanted to excel at what I did, I wanted to be THAT guy.
I would admire guys who were attractive, I would admire guys with good bodies, I wanted to be like them…
I would envy people who had lots of friends and I would envy people who were outspoken…
I pictured myself with the qualities of these people and dreamed of being like them…

I wanted to prove all those who thought what they thought of me WRONG…

Yes, today I am a gay male living in South Africa, what my old school friends think of that I certainly do not care, I lost a lot of them when I came out just after school while I was still NOT THAT GUY.
BUT, today I am a PROUD GAY MALE SOUTH AFRICAN and certainly not ashamed of my past as a kid, I knew I was gay from the start, but too scared to come out because of my school years, because of the way we HAD to be…
I am a healthy, fit guy with a loving family, with friends who like me and don’t tease me and I live each day with motivation and determination to reach my dreams and goals.

7 comments:

  1. Wow Tyrone, I have to say that this is truly inspiring and cool! Not only because of your honesty, and the manner in which you convey the experiences and stories of so many of us, but because of how it can and does serve as an inspiration for countless young guys out there.

    Thank you very much for sharing and please continue to keep it real and to represent!

    Marius

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  3. Thank you for this very insightful and refreshing exposé of your school years. I can identify with you on so many accounts.

    Keep your head held high. You've made so many proud. You're a stunning individual and a role model for many!

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  4. Ty,
    Looking at you now, it is hard to imagine that you were ever anything BUT "That Guy".
    It's very admirable that you have taken Life's challenges and utilized them to BECOME.
    Your beauty comes from deep within and your WILL is fantastic.From the caterpillar to a butterfly...thank you for your honesty and example of how to turn adversity into opportunity.
    With Love and Light,
    As Ever,
    Robin

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  5. Hi Tyrone

    You have written this from your soul and heart and I know that many of us can identify with it. I am proud to know personaly from where you have come from and to see the man in front of me now.

    It is an honor to have been a small part of your journey and I am excited at your future.

    With love always

    David

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  6. Congrats for being who you are!

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  7. Wow - it fells like you're describing my childhood and school years - thanks for the insight and congratulations on whom you've become - you can be proud and an inspiration to so many of us!

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